Oh My! Arvind To the tune of Clementine, Barker Bradford, 1885 Parody by Steve Heller Sung at Arvind's house on 18 May 2002, on the occasion of the signing of Jan-Willem Maessen's PhD Thesis. To the centre of our research group, Came a fellow fond of wine, A one-named man he said to students, "Come with me and spend some time." Refrain: Oh my! Arvind, Oh my! Arvind, Oh my! Arvind, prof of mine, Andy's gone and lost forever, Dreadful sorry, prof of mine. First to DARPA then to ARPA, All the funding lined up fine, "Let the data flow forever," To the sponsors, we would whine. Refrain Captain Jack be--gan the research, Static data--flow seemed fine, But dynamic loop unfolding, I cannot think of a rhyme. Refrain Report some progress, lest you egress, All the group was doing time, Keshav bolted; the group was jolted, One could finish in less than nine. Refrain Then came Nikhil, with a pickle, (?) Functional data--bases fine, He's a punster and a funster, Don't incorrige his opine. Refrain Write a thesis, get a minor, Run some programs, that was fine, Every minor, seemed so major, And they stung like cuts in brine. Refrain Now the Boss has gone to Sandburst, Make a fortune, the plan is fine, CRF it is the model, Now we wait for payoff time. Refrain How I miss it, how I miss it, How I miss my grad-school time, Data-flowers were so pretty, How I miss my grad-school time. Refrain